Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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