He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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