drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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