So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
