I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
