Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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