she looked like the before picture.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
