My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
