I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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