i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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