Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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