Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
