she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
