R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
