I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
