you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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