I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
