I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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