My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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