Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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