If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Mom said you looked used
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize