thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
