I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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