do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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