Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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