she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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