I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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