You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
