Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
