Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
