should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
