Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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