im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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