I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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