If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
