I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
