You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize