does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize