im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize