Plan B is the new Plan A
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
