what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
