i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
