I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
