Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
