I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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