if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
