She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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