i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
