it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize