Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
