You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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