You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
