dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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