Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
