think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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