this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
