Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was confusing and full of hummus
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
