He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
