Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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