Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
