her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize