Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
