there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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